Thinking of adopting? Yes? Good on you. No? Put a condom on and get your act together! With only a two year wait on the adoption waiting list, you can move into ‘Trendtown’ when you have an Asian child on your hip.
Angelina Jolie picked up on this trend when I mentioned it to her at an after-party seven years ago. Since then, Asian children have been popping up on hips everywhere. Once you have secured your child, try and build character by dressing them up as fruit, vegetables or any sort of funny shaped food. This will prompt others to stop and be consumed with a warm-fuzzy-feeling when they see you and your beautiful (and uniquely dressed) Asian child.
Boys, this accessory is a certain chick-magnet, as women cannot resist a man with a child. Women will approach YOU! And strike up a conversation with YOU! With so many women fighting for your affection, you can say goodbye to years of rejections and slaps-in-the-face because you will finally have the opportunity to be ‘picky’ with whoever you throw down on your bed.
Girls, there are so many benefits of adopting an Asian child. 1. You won’t have to be pregnant. If sitting around, getting fat and losing bladder control is not your thing, you can skip pregnancy all together and go right into looking heaps rad. 2. No matter which Asian denomination you choose, your child will be super cute. In Australia’s multi-cultural society, your Asian child will be influenced by different cultures thus making them more interest, and the Asian child is more likely to produce with someone of a completely different ethnicity, thus producing beautiful exotic off-spring, populating the world with beautiful people – all thanks to you.
Sure, you will have to find a nanny to take of the child when you’re out and about being the social/trendy butterfly you are. If you have no money for a nanny, borrow an Asian child! There’s loads of Asian families looking for a babysitter. You will make some extra cash as well as achieve what we all strive to be – heaps rad.
Say hello to your mum for me! And then steal a vintage dress from her wardrobe and send it to me at Music Feeds. Until next time…
