Radiohead‘s Thom Yorke has written a letter to Santa, asking old Saint Nick to stiff oil company executives and their bribe taking politician mates this year with no presents.
“I won’t ask you to solve the problems of the human race. Those are our problems alone,” reads Yorke’s Yuletide correspondence. “But perhaps this year you would consider not giving any presents to oil company executives and the politicians whose influence they buy?”
I guess giving them coal would just be self defeating though.
Part of Letters of Noel, a project put together by Letters of Note live spin-off Letters Live, Yorke’s yuletide missive isn’t the only celebrity letter to Santa, with NME set to debut Pulp singer/songwriter Jarvis Cocker‘s letter to Santa tomorrow, while Benedict Cumberbatch’s letter also joined Yorke’s yesterday.
Yorke’s letter is for the most part very positive, with plenty of his wry wit at play as well. Explaining to Santa that “since I wrote to you last when I was nine, I have tried to be good, but sometimes failed spectacularly.”
He goes on to add that he has “also tried to do what I’m told but often have delighted in doing the exact opposite. But always I have tried to give love and try not to cause hurt.”
That’s all just preamble though, with the letter not taking long before Yorke starts bargaining with the jolly Mr Claus, calling in his “last remaining credit” with the man in red for just a few requests.
What a sweet man he is.
Read the full text of the letter here below.
—
dear father christmas
it is years since i wrote to you.
i hope this letter finds you well and that the snow is still continuing to fall up in lapland.
here it is mostly rain. not even jumper weather yet!
but the christmas albums are already being played in the shops.
that must be so embarrassing for you.
i know this year you will be exceptionally busy for you.
we all expect a little too much of you now i think.
and there are so many imposters on television. even in the street.
since i wrote to you last when i was 9 i have tried to be good, but sometimes failed spectacularly.
i have also tried to do what i’m told but often have delighted in doing the exact opposite.
but always i have tried to give love and try not to cause hurt.
so
dear father christmas
what i’m saying is…
now that i’m 47, if i have any last remaining credit with you, i have just these small requests.
that my kids have a beautiful christmas
with love and understanding and peace.
perhaps some heavy snow? that would be really great.
and can you just send the precious things that will really mean something to them?
and can you send them some hope for the future. that is very important.
i won’t ask you to solve the problems of the human race. those are our problems alone.
but perhaps this year you would consider not giving any presents to oil company executives and the politicians whose influence they buy?
and for me? just some reading glasses.. : / the blue ones.
yours completely sincerely
Thom
p.s. thanks for the zx81 computer when i was 11. that was really wicked.
Watch: Radiohead – No Surprises
