Former Sex Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten has told social media that fleas bit his knob after he befriended a group of squirrels. Everything in that sentence is true.
According to Rotten – aka John Lydon – he has become friendly with a group of squirrels near his Venice Beach home, and even giving them some food which we’re sure they greatly appreciate.
“I looked down there this morning at my willy and there’s a fucking flea bite on it,” Lydon told the New Zealand Herald.
“And there’s another one on the inside of my leg.”
“The bites, wow, last night was murder because of it. The itching too. It’s such a poxy thing to get caught out on. The only way around it, because I’m not going to blame the poor little squirrels, is to vaseline my legs. I just hope they don’t get the wrong idea,” he continued.
“I’m determined to keep my squirrel friends independent, y’know. There’s no petting. If they want to nudge up that’s fine, but I know it’s for a peanut and not because I’m lovely.”
There is nothing that can be said about this story that hasn’t already been said. Somehow, Rotten’s words alone say far too much.
Let us join our hands in prayer that this year will be over soon.
