This Is Why Every Pharrell Song Sounds The Same

Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, Pharrell Williams. All-American, all-famous and now all have been linked to an indisputable tendency to follow their own way of doing things. Today, Williams has been outed as the latest to function via a modus operandi that has been cut into one very user-friendly jam.

Who knew, after more than a decade of producing chart toppers, that this whole time Pharrell was cheating, using a sneaky trick that he KNEW would guarantee a track’s placement at the pointy end of any chart the world over? Almost like a dirty rotten cheater. So what is this trick? A simple four-count loop of the first beat at the start of the track.

I know, it’s a huge deal. Basically, all we need to do now to produce a track that will saturate the market, ruin peoples faith in music all the while making ourselves a cheeky few $mil is add a quick four-count loop of the first beat at the start of the track..

The below cut was compiled by Discopop (Via Stereogum) and features every catchy jam from SWV’s Right Here (Human Nature Remix) which dropped in 1993 all the way up to this year’s Happy. Every one of them – A quick four-count loop of the first beat.

This leaves two justifiable conclusions for William’s talents as a producer. Either he’s super lazy and very bad and starting compositions. Or a quick four-count loop of the first beat at the start of the track is simply his calling card.

A quick four-count loop of the first beat at the start of the track. You brilliant motherfucker.

Listen: Every Pharrell Williams Song Starts The Same

Photos: Pharrell Williams – Riverstage, Brisbane 12/03/14